To say that I’m a classic country music fan, doesn’t quite cut it. For years I awoke at 5 a.m. on Saturday mornings to listen to a four-hour radio program that played the legends and nothing else. It was the highlight of my week, and I would clean the house to it while my children slept. Now that Pandora exists, I have it playing anytime I’m home, and sometimes while driving. I suppose I’m drawn to the genre because they’re basically a story set to music♥ This summer, I got out the book I’ve dabbled with for more years than I care to admit. It has always just been a hobby, a way to pass the time, something I never really took seriously. With the time to devote to planning a better storyline, time-line, and research, I came to realize how much fun I was having with it. It was an exciting and creative outlet that I had shoved out of sight for so long. I work at an elementary school and am out of work in the months of June and July, and I dreaded that the summer days were passing so quickly. There just wasn’t enough hours in the day to plan, research and write all that I wanted to each day, with the farm work, household chores and feeding my family. I knew that once I was back at work, it would be even more of a challenge to devote time to ‘my book’. When I return home from an 8 hour day at work, which is NOT physically active in any way, I am drained. Mentally and emotionally, after giving my all to my autistic student, who demands so much, I just don’t have any more to give. However, the evenings I did set aside to write, fueled me and kept my mind from dwelling on the negative. My husband and I raise Kiko goats to sell at market and as seed stock on the side. We had hopes of it generating more income and turning into a full-time business, but, we would need more goats, more fence, and more land. We aren’t really wanting to acquire more debt at this time. I have considered many business ideas over the years. Since we had milk goats and more milk than we knew what to do with, I began making homemade soap. It’s great for the skin and toxin/chemical-free, and we prefer it over commercial brands. It’s just not what I feel I could do long-term or provide for us financially. There’s SO much competition! I had brainstormed marketing it as Grand Ol Goat soap, naming the fragrances after popular country music songs and providing lyrics to the song on the inside of the packaging! Cool, huh? That would set my soap company apart… but it would greatly narrow my customer base. I also began to narrow down what I really wanted to do. I wanted to write. My husband had heard about Christy Wright and the Business Boutique on the Dave Ramsey radio show and encouraged me to attend her event in November. I booked the event that was offering a discount for a stay at the Opryland Resort Hotel, in Nashville!!! This gave me three months to have some kind of a lead on a business. FBA selling on Amazon? E-Bay store? Goat products and novelties? So many ideas, so many of them seemingly unattainable. Besides, my day job is steady and my co-workers are always telling me what a blessing I am to our special needs students. I got comfortable thinking I was going to be at school until June, and maybe I got a little lazy too. My mind was tired of grasping at potential side-hustles. I was also feeling like I was a little too old, and it was a little too late. When November 1st rolled around, I felt kind of ill, because I felt the trip was a waste of time and money. The event kicked off on Thursday evening at 6p.m. at the Cornerstone Church, and Friday morning I was to get on a shuttle bus from the hotel to attend a full day of activities. I broke down and cried in the hotel bathroom while getting ready that morning. I had no business being at a business boutique because I had no business!! I felt like a fraud, wearing my name tag with my ‘business/idea.’ I had written BLOG/ GOAT under my name. I was fairly certain that regardless of what kind of business I pursued I would need a blog. I also happen to be a storehouse of goat information. Natural health care, D-I-Y vet, sicknesses, kidding issues, you name it. I have something to offer beginner goat producers, and my husband thinks I should impart what I know onto others. That was all I had to go on that day, and perhaps the other women who took the time to ask what my ‘plan’ was, were only being kind, but they seemed to think my goat info blog and soap had potential. However, it wasn’t what I was feeling passionate about. There were other businesses set up at the event to learn from. I met up with a lady who made stuffed elephants out of clothing from loved ones who’d passed away. She was so passionate about what she was doing for others with her talents in her particular business. Preserving something memorable to the family using items left behind from loved ones that would otherwise not be utilized, with the message that an elephant never forgets. It was a tangible thing that could be held onto and kept forever. I became so emotional listening to her, and my thoughts kept returning to her throughout the day. I remember thinking: that’s what I want! I want to do something that makes a difference. I want to make someone choke up while visiting my blog or booth, and hearing my WHY. I want them to be as passionate and excited as I am about the work that I am doing. One of the speakers that day was Sarah Jakes Roberts. Her message was titled, Living Out Your Purpose. Sarah is an excellent motivational speaker and a woman of faith. She hammered home the difference Christian women were making in the world by pursuing their God-given purpose. Referring to it as a seed planted by God within us to fulfill a path as only we could with the seed that was uniquely ours. Tears poured from my eyes. For months, years actually, I cried out to God, asking for this very thing. Why do I want to write? Why am I always making up characters, stories, and ideas for a book? I was shaking, feeling like there was something God was calling me to, but I couldn’t see it. I sat there begging Him to s-p-e-l-l -i-t-o-u-t!!! Seriously, write it on the wall in front of me, beacause I wasn’t seeing it. My mind was exhausted from the brainstorming, and the loads of information that was being presented to me. The hymn This Is My Story, This Is My Song was playing in my head as if it was supposed to answer something. But I still didn’t have a clue, I only cried harder. It was hours later, two sessions later, that I sat in my seat, trying to focus on the presenter. My mind kept wandering to the ‘elephant’ lady. Once again, I was compelled to do something, even considering selling some of her products or promoting them, because I felt it was a worthwhile cause. As I sat there, having a pity-party for myself, I had this thought. “I don’t have any talent or skill, I can’t offer the lady any help, because she probably is only in need of someone to sew. I’m not even able to come up with a dream or a plan for myself. I’m only good at forming dreams for fictional people in my imagination.” And TADA!! The idea began taking shape in my mind! “If I can make up stories about people who don’t exist, imagine what I could write about your loved one? Or even yourself”. What if I could write out your wishes for your children and grandchildren? What if I compiled the stories, memories, sayings, special attributes of someone who is gone from this life, but not from your heart or your memory? And what if I created a keepsake memoir, or book of their life in words and pictures, that let you share that story with others? What if I could? Over the summer I read the book, One Word, by Debbie Macomber. In it, she shared how she and God select one word at the start of every year, and she studies it in depth, learning all that she can from every angle. I tried to pray and listen for my ‘word’, but nothing was really standing out. Sitting there in that auditorium, I discovered my word. It had literally and figuratively been under my nose for months! The title of my ‘book’ is, REMEMBER WHEN. After a few weeks of ‘wasting my time’, I sat my ‘book’ back on the shelf. I actually considered throwing it in the trash. My 42-year-old cousin passed away that week. He wrote a letter to his family to be read at his funeral. It was titled, Remember When. It seemed that God was nudging me to get the ‘book’ back off the shelf and try again. I also lost my dad earlier in the year, which gave me pause to remember. My word for this season of my life is, remember. I now have the name for my ‘business’ that brings me passion and purpose. I walked the halls of the Opryland Hotel, thinking of how I was walking where legends once walked. The great artists of country music roamed the streets of Nashville. The words they wrote on paper coming alive in those who would later hear them playing on the radio. Even now, when so many of them are gone, they live on in the words that began as a dream that they pursued and fulfilled. Their words, dreams, hopes, and legacies are reaching even you and me. I too, went to Nashville, wanting to discover my dream, and I did. So, why this long, long post? I want to ask you, friend, do you have a dream? Is it big, or small? Do you share it with others, or do you hide it under a lamp? Maybe, God is telling you to pick it up, dust it off, and let it shine! It’s not too late. If it was planted in you, for you, by your Creator, it must be pretty special and worth a second chance. It doesn’t matter if you’ve nearly forgotten what you once dreamed of, chances are it’s worth remembering!
Worth Remembering 